tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79577355275036159202012-02-16T09:06:25.708-05:00(hope it doesn't scare you)candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.comBlogger1491100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-40625902235477444872011-10-01T01:52:00.000-04:002011-10-01T01:52:13.486-04:00

i wish someone was here to share after the evening ends i wish someone was here to share just like true best friends i wish someone was here to share everything like i do i wish someone was here to share maybe it could be you

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-81878925224812274492011-09-27T01:52:00.000-04:002011-09-27T01:52:40.717-04:00

i don't remember... sometimes i feel so sad after midnight when all i want to do is share with and nobody is around to share as if nobody cares, but somewhere people do care, they just don't know i am here or alive even... i love the night so much, the quiet, the darkness, the stars and stillness and natural world... i am here... that's why i am here, to let you know... i am here...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-18130414546736251982011-09-11T02:32:00.000-04:002011-09-11T02:32:25.626-04:00

very near the top of the list, if not the top, is sharing... but maybe i meant when i miss sharing most and there are many times of the day or week or month or year and there are experiences during which i feeling the missing the sharing most (like after softball, for one, or during and after a favorite film, for another) and this is one of them... the night... the night is when i look at the

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-71228967652063795662011-09-09T03:23:00.000-04:002011-09-09T03:23:33.617-04:00

i mean, hello?)... doesn't seem to matter in the end the song's the same and i remain alone playing this game of words write to anyone who may be out there words written to anyone to may hear... who may care... who may share...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-60401864579297117442011-08-19T02:12:00.002-04:002011-08-19T02:12:58.218-04:00

anyone out there awake?... sometimes i just want to know someone who cares and is awake to say hello to, even in text, in the middle of the night... hello? (hello, hello....

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-65225800029719715862011-08-15T01:38:00.003-04:002011-08-15T02:33:17.467-04:00

Every night i am all about the Aerosmith song Don't Want to Miss a Thing" with one thing missing... there is no one around to watch breathing. so i stay awake hoping she might show up...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-8505680790255466782011-08-06T23:55:00.000-04:002011-08-06T23:55:15.345-04:00

it is early in the evening to be feeling so alone when there are so many people awake out there partying and looking for love and whatever, but i am working on the living space this weekend because i haven't done laundry in weeks cuz jackson was packing for her move and cuz she ran out of time for packing and ran out of space in her car, her stuff is everywhere and it's gonna take a while to

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-69483914164177068942011-07-29T00:53:00.000-04:002011-07-29T00:53:20.104-04:00

so...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-84407468423280435502011-06-16T02:18:00.000-04:002011-06-16T02:18:12.760-04:00

every night i lay down and sleep when i am tired enough and the words have flowed (though seldom enough) and there is time (though seldom enough) the dreams are closer to the surface (though seldom enough) and i sleep, with or without you, wishing you were here... after the blogging is done, here...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-46243746402991988852011-06-09T00:18:00.000-04:002011-06-09T00:18:58.893-04:00

the craving to share more steals sleep time again and the body (and mind) will regret it in the morning (already does to some extent) but the craving, anita, but the craving... i sometimes wonder why nobody responds even as i ask is anybody pout there? right next to every new entry... guess a few seconds (or 90, even) are a bit too much to share... so i come here, in the afterblog, singing will

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-48086361015796608442011-05-25T01:22:00.000-04:002011-05-25T01:22:28.558-04:00

and cars pass on the highway outwide a road called an an expressway at any hour of night someone is going somewhere while i sit alone aching for silence aching for sharing aching for love

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-51232179101558065452011-04-29T01:09:00.000-04:002011-04-29T01:09:21.006-04:00

more precisely, i am not done yet, not tonight, not in life, not anywhere or anytime... i have more to do, more to learn, more to give, more to share, more dreams to fulfill... and every day i fulfill the big one, enjoying life, and every day is better than the last because it is another day compiled on all the others... but here in the afterblog, i wait for the one who will share the dream that

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-90432073571541393292011-03-15T23:33:00.000-04:002011-03-15T23:33:43.843-04:00

good days, bad days, whatever, it doesn't matter in the end and especially not if there's nobody who cares along the way... how many good days go by unshared and sadder, perhaps, is how many bad days have happened with no one even taking notice, no concilation, no comfort from anywhere but within, that end-it-all feeling of nobody cares... here we are...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-78181997612580124432011-02-18T02:51:00.000-05:002011-02-18T02:51:20.598-05:00

late as the night becomes deeper the music plays softly in the windmills of my mind and the dreams filling the corners sweep the scent of memories out of heartbeats and sweet whispers telling me life can be kind even after all the giving and the taking has left nothing and the working and rebuilding continues until the end there is one hope rising above all the fear and unrequited love and that

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-61715161221057414392011-02-11T01:37:00.000-05:002011-02-11T01:37:12.213-05:00

yeah, it may not seem like it all the time, especially not these days, especially to those who remember me when i would write dozens of rhymes each week filled with optimism, hope, romance, and dreams of true love, but i am still dreaming and if you look closely, you will see...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-42954812919814624162011-01-24T02:53:00.000-05:002011-01-24T02:53:59.102-05:00

often sad in the afterblog, perhaps, as i feel the longing to share more and no one stays awake with me (as that garden song place once again in the rivers of my mind, or should i say those garden songs and references, gibran, nelson, rice, at least), the truest nature of the afterblog may not show through as i do not come to express it nightly and in seldom visiting, the sadness may rise at

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-88667137615514662832011-01-21T01:25:00.000-05:002011-01-21T01:25:33.058-05:00

pistachio nuts, water, craig ferguson, still awake and wondering where you are, or where someone is, someone caring, sharing, daring, hearing, you know, someone still awake... cuz after the blogging is over, i still want to share more than words :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-17901443223235691242011-01-03T06:10:00.000-05:002011-01-03T06:10:46.592-05:00

so what shall i say that has not been say so many times before, or written as the case may be... so rhetorical is the question that the question mark is not even considered and mentioned here as an afterthought... afterthoughts in the afterblog, how appropriate and isn't that the point after all?... oh?... telling secrets or stating the obvious, depending on perspective... and the few times

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-66085273552779818442010-11-08T02:54:00.000-05:002010-11-08T02:54:35.560-05:00

it only dies... or we do, eventually, at least that is life as we know it today and here, in the afterblog, i hope for one last chance to share a moment of meaning and if luck is right, true love... it never ends... it's waiting here, in the afterblog, for you...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-75244626753688973692010-10-25T02:06:00.000-04:002010-10-25T02:06:41.601-04:00

dozens of blogs continuing from and to dozens of different directions for dozens of different reasons and are any of them noticed by anyone is a question awaiting an answer and that, my friend, is why there is an afterblog, cuz somebody's got to do it and when it's done, there's got to be a place to put it... and this is that :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-68533274008491042172010-08-16T02:10:00.000-04:002010-08-16T02:10:44.457-04:00

and i was exhausted a few hours ago when i returned from playing basketball after playing softball and having not eated today beyond sugar and protein water, but suddenly i was browsing facebook and watching videos and writing and reading and inspired to think and share and here we are, still wired, even as the body does not want to move... where are you?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-92204739611920732182010-08-15T05:57:00.002-04:002010-08-15T06:04:51.140-04:00

and i am still longing for someone to share it all and alament over the probability that you miss it all, or most of it, no matter how many different ways i try to share it, point you to it, wishing and hoping for your attention... even as as i love every minute of it all by myself, there is the dream of someone staying awake with me and sharing it all... and it could be that i am just deluding

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-90382083361708340872010-08-01T04:05:00.000-04:002010-08-01T04:05:49.833-04:00

yeah, there is an aerosmith song playing and i am awake watching you breathing, watching the world sleeping, watching humanity fade away into the collective delusions that deny truth, rationality, and active caring... and another song, the eagles, plays us out (irony where it might be found, aye?)...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-77018346487743918932010-07-31T05:53:00.000-04:002010-07-31T05:53:34.602-04:00

putting the house in order (just a bit) and gathering the survivors of the AT&T destruction for a new presentation of the me in words as more and more of life and me and writing and reasons and rhymes are left for the afterblogs and outside simply cuz nobody appears interested anywhere these days... at least the night and the music remains :) you?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-79546873026837551492010-07-11T02:12:00.000-04:002010-07-11T02:12:23.388-04:00

that's when i come here... after the blogging is done and there's still no one with whom i can share, wanting to share when no one is here to share - wonder - does anyone care?... does not seem so when the lights are low and no one is here and all i want to do is show someone i care wanting to share when no one is there, i come here...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-88751551671347810082010-06-29T01:59:00.003-04:002010-06-30T20:50:13.988-04:00

yeah, talking 'bout more words 'n stuff, yup, gotcha some more out there and you missed again, cuz, after all, you missed this one (duh, obviously, as if you cared {enough}, yo... truth, word. hey, right, like could've been mean, aye? :) no seriously, your loss...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-44736823448687470782010-06-25T08:35:00.000-04:002010-06-25T08:35:11.880-04:00

as the music returned, the passion blossomed, and the garden reawakened as if it had never been asleep... the magic sprayed everywhere from every source, from rocks and springs, from petals and perches, the bords and bees brought back the kaleidoscope of emotional power that give life meaning and humanity purpose (even if most sleep through it and call it dreaming)... you really did have to be

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-70980203195634209322010-06-24T02:48:00.000-04:002010-06-24T02:48:16.182-04:00

the bestest most funnest fun happens after all the other blogs are done, here, in the afterblog, hidden from view (because words are not enough), you might find out (if you stay awake long enough :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-63380828887766481082010-06-10T02:45:00.000-04:002010-06-10T02:45:08.839-04:00

keeps me awake at night...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-68766896341779228872010-06-08T01:06:00.000-04:002010-06-08T01:06:25.313-04:00

yes, wouldn't it be loverly if someone came along to share the afterblog for all blogternity... instead, i sit here oh so bloatedly wasted on snacks and chocolate milk and fatigue and waiing for that oh so loberly sharing thing i want so much that i just keep dreaming of it over and over and over and agaun... and you?...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-84344445962262819352010-06-07T02:15:00.000-04:002010-06-07T02:15:43.244-04:00

laying in bed after a steamy relaxing shower i pondered the comfort and ease of a snapped wrap around towel and missed those i left behind along the way so i came out to search the web for some and found they are very challenging to find... and much more expensive than much bigger towels... i ordered one... such are the things you miss by falling asleep at normal times :) nite nite :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-89483518272988776832010-06-04T01:12:00.000-04:002010-06-04T01:12:45.924-04:00

alone... still smiling... alone... still alright... alone :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-23555934986134450932010-05-30T02:07:00.000-04:002010-05-30T02:07:08.471-04:00

after all the words are written, after all the blogs are closed, after all the people have gone to bed, cloased their eyes, fallen asleep, there is still one last promise left to keep... that is why...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-66517334186633872682010-05-24T23:24:00.000-04:002010-05-24T23:24:22.452-04:00

and i miss sharing it, but at least i am awake enjoying it... humans sleepwalk through this life and waste the magic of the night... wish you were here, but only if you can be... cha cha cha :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-35427091860354228912010-05-13T23:29:00.000-04:002010-05-13T23:29:12.188-04:00

the wonder of being, especially in the night... and while much of the time i wish for someone to share the moments, wishing or not for company, the moments are amazing and wonderful... if you only knew... you'd be amazed too :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-77510589638265658152010-04-14T01:30:00.000-04:002010-04-14T01:30:13.173-04:00

a rise in loneliness tonight, probably because the back hurts, the disk slipped making standing completely erect challenging giving me the old man posture and reminding me that life ends and i'm getting closer to the end every day and i am still alone and would so much rather be sharing most of the time and that's why this is here, the afterblog, when there's still more hope for sharing after all

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-5586881352134849972010-03-25T01:21:00.000-04:002010-03-25T01:21:48.190-04:00

but a whole lot of the reason for the afterblog is to respect the hunger, the desire, the passion for sharing that keeps me awake when all others fall alseep... as if the 'regular' blogs are read regularly and there is sharing regularly, the lament of will no one stay awake with me seems so noble or poetic or dramatic or something... but the sad fact is i am alone before during and after blogging

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-21080793466276948842010-03-11T01:25:00.000-05:002010-03-11T01:25:04.007-05:00

lately i've been staying up late and eating after midnight and watching tv, though in the past two weeks i have not been staying up late enough to catch craig ferguson... i need to get a dvr cuz i want to watch his show and others more but the shows are on too late and anyway... and still, lonely when i look around for someone real in life to share the life i live, late or early... days are so

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-34201968567921917352010-02-23T23:18:00.000-05:002010-02-23T23:18:29.630-05:00

it is pretty amazing how quickly the most magical moment of our lives fades into the past, sometimes not so pretty... and i wonder if that is because those moments are no longer shared, or not shared enough, or simply is it that they lose their energy... i want to believe that it's the sharing, that if the moment is shared, it lasts... somehow i hope to find someone who shares like that :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-58620309619795834362010-02-16T21:37:00.000-05:002010-02-16T21:37:22.356-05:00

just exploring, random browsing, chance encounter, or are you here on purpose?... and is it for the sorrow, the loneliness, the sadness of being the last one to leave the bar, the last one awake at the party, the last one awake in the garden, the last one aware as all those around you fall asleep or into what everyone calls life but is more like a zombie walk through mindless work for others

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-31358993556611172702010-02-13T02:58:00.000-05:002010-02-13T02:58:16.097-05:00

so very much like the sounds of silence from the old song, yes, hello my old friend, and no one stays awake with me... sadness, yes, but also the bliss of knowing i actualized being true to myself all this time... never thought i'd be alone, perhaps, but we are all always alone, in fact, and this is another reminder... when you arrive, i hope to still be :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-6035471575914674592010-02-05T00:04:00.000-05:002010-02-05T00:04:44.771-05:00

to live together in the kind of world where we belong...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-25910509173469059212010-01-27T02:32:00.000-05:002010-01-27T02:32:28.449-05:00

that's the rub, after all, for all the brain produces in the words on the web here, there, and virtually everywhere, for whatever it's all worth, the long wait alone endures... i hope you are loved tonight by someone outside of yourself...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-64778572300832352822010-01-16T03:03:00.000-05:002010-01-16T03:03:49.174-05:00

cuz caring is a verb (how many times have i heard myself say these words?... caring is a verb... caring is a verb... caring is a verb)... melodic, in a semi-sad and saucy kind of way...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-53599018789688029662010-01-06T02:59:00.000-05:002010-01-16T03:02:36.282-05:00

not quite 4am, but still the dream comes again and i still know i need to be in love... not quite 4am, but here with my pen, i am writing cuz the words lift me above the dark and dreary days the tired and lonely nights the empty promises forgotten by all but my broken heart and when the sleep does come i want to be so numb that the brain will be too tired to let the nightmares start... bali hi,

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-72075513624217287042009-12-16T02:57:00.000-05:002010-01-16T02:59:29.894-05:00

words could not express the emptiness i feel when i look at the space in my heart that is always waiting for you... there could never be a portait of my love for nobody can paint a dream, and yet, what dreams may come may render everything we know as false and in your eyes i'll see the dream becoming real... someday... somehow... somewhere... nite...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-64204598592322006262009-12-01T02:56:00.000-05:002010-01-16T02:57:30.564-05:00

so tired, so very tired...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-47679347302087237752009-11-17T02:53:00.000-05:002010-01-16T02:56:45.054-05:00

maybe i've rejected human contact, but i defy anyone to have trusted more than i have given trust to other people in this life... and maybe that's why i'm alone today as people fear trusting and suspect those who are not as afraid as they are... so here i am alone in the afterblog of my life wondering where you are and why you leave me as alone as you do... that goes for the rest of you too...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-8804380658681774342009-11-10T02:41:00.000-05:002009-11-10T02:41:10.764-05:00

but wanting even more...to love and be loved...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-11710467459380269622009-10-31T00:56:00.000-04:002009-10-31T00:56:32.237-04:00

the date, that is, seems most appropriate for the colors of this blog (at least the colors of the moment and i tend to change blogs a lot more than i shange blog layouts... hey, maybe that's one big reason i change blogs, aye?... anyway, still here, alone, after...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-13810578558747901462009-10-27T00:58:00.000-04:002009-10-31T01:00:49.860-04:00

somewhere in the spring, june or july or thereabouts, i paused in the posting of words online and while i catch up every time (so far, at least), it brings up the irony of the title concept... what else is there to do, after all, alone after the blog...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-7816519370791512582009-09-18T00:28:00.000-04:002009-09-18T00:28:17.302-04:00

people only care when they want to, because it matters to them, but if they don't care when you want them to, do people really care? people are only they when they want to be there, because they care (and caring is a verb), but if they are not there when you want them to be, are they really there at all?... do people really care? maybe people only care when they care about what you care about..

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-23780338385133363202009-08-24T01:19:00.017-04:002009-10-31T01:49:38.326-04:00

and nobody does it enough to satisfy me, so maybe it's me, insatiability, my hunger to share caring, that keeps me alone... irony, do i do it too much, too well, or is not caring all the time as much as possible better than caring all the time as much as possible... nobody seems to want the latter... but i just keep on doing it cuz it feels better than anything else, even better than sharing

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-4939034238862474252009-07-31T01:06:00.011-04:002009-10-31T01:19:12.704-04:00

the last entry (if it's still the last entry, the first date of this month, if that's still the only entry date stamped with that date) has me thinking about it... kind of the way it had me thinking about the one before, if that one is still the one before... what?... you think just cuz it's late that this will always be profound?... you'll never know unless you appear here in physical time

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-86137832220301688502009-07-01T01:03:00.002-04:002009-10-31T01:06:31.328-04:00

yup, just see the previous entry, or the theme of this blog, for that matter... the afterblog is where i go when the blogging is over and i am still alone and there's still more desire, craving, hunger for sharing... if only to say, yes, i am still alone...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-48065103880574476302009-06-01T23:49:00.002-04:002009-06-02T00:05:53.332-04:00

after the blogging's overafter the words are donethere's no dress to look upno irreverent funafter the babbling pausesafter the words are throughthere's no zipper to pull downno entendre to misconstrueafter the pickles are sucked dryafter the peaches are lickedthere's no head left to play withno small mind left to tricklife in the blogworld is ficklefunny and strange and weird tooand after the

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-88746619158203799892009-05-21T23:48:00.001-04:002009-05-21T23:52:51.917-04:00

after the blogging is done for the night and the eyes droop closed and sleep beckons, who's still here with me?...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-41206601097025635342009-05-17T01:40:00.003-04:002009-05-17T01:45:27.142-04:00

i return to write to you and for me (in so many other places that grow in bits and bounds and rhymes and confessions and fantasies and laughter and tears and memories and silliness and seriousness and nonsense and pleasure and pain and wonder and excitement and all the fun of the fair) and for anyone who cares... it's so rare that someone does, but i continue anyway...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-40769076381778147962009-05-11T23:41:00.001-04:002009-05-11T23:42:40.951-04:00

i wish...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-42156601086002781362009-05-04T23:21:00.003-04:002009-05-08T01:10:38.441-04:00

that is all...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-4738687560384451652009-04-20T00:41:00.003-04:002009-04-20T00:44:59.319-04:00

yeah, nobody but me, but in the end, after all the blogging is done, me is enough and that is why i continue blogging, writing, sharing with nobody and anybody... because i can, because i want to, because it makes me happy, because it keeps the dream alive, for me, because me is enough... even though i want more :)

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-83179909557657607432009-04-13T23:47:00.002-04:002009-04-13T23:57:12.330-04:00

that is who is here after the blogging is done... during the blogging, at least there is the illusion of sharing because i imagine real people out there reading the words, caring about the mundane details of the life i live as only friends do... and then, after the blogging is over, here we are...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-70359750345897886092009-04-10T04:30:00.003-04:002009-04-10T04:38:13.959-04:00

so much love, so much affection, so much trust, so many dreams, so much love, so much devotion, so much lust, so much it seems is lost in the night, left here for someone who may never find the song lost in the night...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-12191693275875999152009-03-28T01:15:00.002-04:002009-03-31T23:28:27.735-04:00

the words come out, silly, superficial, social, and of course, self-involved, but then, that's why a personal daily blog is about, right?... still, nobody pays attention (or at least nobody says so), so here again, alone in the afterblog... so predictable...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-5653278822898891022009-03-19T02:27:00.002-04:002009-03-21T21:36:38.629-04:00

while is may seem pitiful that i am out here every day, every night, all the time connected to this commitment to share myself, life, observations, illusions, creative play, and everything and anything in words and no one actually shares, the words appear to fall on deaf ears, there is no pity in reality for i am true to myself, my ideals, my dreams, and my desires... this is the best i can do

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-26418444796062905582009-03-13T01:02:00.003-04:002009-03-13T01:09:21.809-04:00

as if anyone cares, aye?... i babbled on for years, i wrote letters with all my heart and imagination and devotion to reading and understanding and communicating with people... i care actively, giving away most everything just to help others because it feels good to see others smile... i write rhymes... i even write a daily blog about daily stuff that may seem self-indulgent or boring, but i do

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-67809664272054027172009-03-07T03:59:00.003-05:002009-03-08T23:22:30.755-04:00

if i was in touch with my heart, that is, if i had time to listen to it, i'd hear it singing lonesome songs... i enjoy the life living moment to moment, the fun of the the games (softball, board, numbers, and so on), the challenges at work, all fun for me... and staying so busy i don't have time to listen or feel what is missing much (focus on and appreciate what is not what is not... that is the

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-21441627219220352422009-02-20T22:27:00.001-05:002009-02-20T22:30:22.066-05:00

and the day that we findwe can share in our mindsthe grand stand undefinedof the heart unconfinedin the body divinedas the seconds unwindpast the fear so refinedthat it has reason resignedto accept being blindand the death of the mindwaiting staid and misalignedfor the day that we findwe can share in our minds

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-45521132377877535002009-02-05T00:26:00.004-05:002009-02-20T22:32:25.436-05:00

after the blog is overafter the fun is gonei'm left alone with my reasonone dream lets me carry onsharing the time togetherafter the world goes to sleepsomeone will someday be herethat is the promise i keepafter the blog is overwhen all the writing is donei am still ready for sharingi am still ready for fununtil someone arrives herei'll just enjoy life myselfand leave a dream in the afterblogjust

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-22841923621597984752009-01-12T04:57:00.004-05:002009-01-12T05:02:14.760-05:00

when i come here after all the writing, i realize that no one cares today, that i am alone in time and space, that if i died tonight, right now, it might be days before someone knocked on my door to find me and weeks before some of you knew and possibly, you'd not find out for much longer as no one near even pays attention to my babblings or online sharings... that is sad for the large part of me

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-74986326712750604802009-01-04T02:37:00.002-05:002009-01-04T02:40:16.619-05:00

it is wanting to share that creates the loneliness... there are times when i am not wanting to share much and there is no loneliness... lately, i've been wanting to share more and more and the loneliness is increasing... that is all there is after the blogging is done and i sit here alone, desire unfulfilled...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-11459526915151474962008-12-30T00:59:00.003-05:002008-12-30T01:01:57.744-05:00

here i sit so all alonewith no one to talk to and no one to phonei'll search to find, for there must besomeone as lonely just looking for me

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-73766494260676123902008-12-23T22:51:00.003-05:002008-12-23T22:55:58.283-05:00

you know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming?... this is where i wait for you.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-84413648162209953422008-12-17T23:26:00.002-05:002008-12-17T23:57:50.517-05:00

who am i talking to anyway?imaginary readers?potential friends in the physical world?gonna run?gonna hide?gonna come out?gonna come inside?gonna let me in?show me where you've been?show me who you are?now near, how far?whatever, we are who, we are what, we are where we arewe arewe arewe…never mind the obvious childwake me when we get to why...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-36783417318876608472008-12-02T03:55:00.002-05:002008-12-02T03:58:27.177-05:00

after the hope fatigues, the futility laughs and claims the stage, but can we ever know which is real and which is illusion?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-42706791984749428592008-11-26T03:30:00.003-05:002008-11-27T00:43:36.732-05:00

and the previous post and so many (most, perhaps) suggest or even state clearly (as if i am ever truly clear amidst my babbling way) said, the craving for sharing, for intellectual, emotional, physical, and that undefinable ethereal stimulation is constant, insatiable, and expressed here once again as if we do not know already or somehow doubted it's constancy...perhaps it is the primary reason

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-74068144871353681432008-11-21T02:40:00.003-05:002008-11-21T02:48:32.213-05:00

i am still awake because i crave stimulation, intellectual and emotional stimulation most of all, which is why i am browsing the internet cuz if i just wanted physical stimulation i can always masturbate... perhaps there is a way to have it all... playfully, with full disclosure and informed consent, of course... see what happens when i get bored, poor thing, little did she expect to be

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-61690530395505745822008-11-16T23:44:00.001-05:002008-11-16T23:46:01.171-05:00

Fact: music is such an amazing experience... in the same moment i am longing to the point of aching to share the experience, i am in securely independent bliss simply experiencing the experience... anyone who has not been here has missed one of the most amazing magical experienced of life.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-1306987159653805702008-11-10T05:19:00.001-05:002008-11-10T05:20:32.118-05:00

do you know how long a moment is when you are truly alone?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-25285079578557729282008-11-04T21:27:00.001-05:002008-11-04T21:28:21.374-05:00

live the secrets

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-48045370997395958242008-11-01T23:28:00.004-04:002008-11-02T00:55:24.779-04:00

there i was minding my own whatever, mostly content (even tickled) to be sleeping all night... but here i am, alone, lonely, realizing it is a saturday night and i passed up a twelve hour full day concert with many bands (did i do this last year as well?) and a party at a favorite meetup person's house (which is likely still going on) cuz sleeping was a much better idea for the body... all cuz

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-43637886919804625322008-10-30T23:32:00.005-04:002008-10-30T23:41:29.814-04:00

like the stage after all the people leave, like the party (or even the last supper) after everyone goes home or falls asleep, the afterblog is for the last few who stay awake, who hang out at the stage door, who can't get enough, like me, and sometimes, the afterblog seems for no one but me... but it's here... to remind me that the show must go on and more, that when the show is over, there is

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-18441347059783726382008-10-21T03:50:00.002-04:002008-10-28T22:55:50.653-04:00

often i am told how much my words mean to the world, to people i have never met or may never meet, to people who will read the words in some future time... and i wonder how that is possible when 90% of what i write is ignored or missed and 90% of the other 10% is left without response... and those i once thought close drift off and out of touch... counting the zeros in front of the word comments.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-67681393679322719432008-10-17T03:43:00.000-04:002008-10-17T07:47:05.500-04:00

only to find out that second chance was null and void almost a decade ago... would have been nice to have known... did you ever see city of angels, the film, the story, the life?... i mean, did you ever really see city of angels?one.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-47847663633373741832008-10-13T21:06:00.001-04:002008-10-13T21:08:22.895-04:00

yes, my hunger for sharing must be growing because lately, i even check email to see if there is any communication, or any blog comments or new posts to read... i should probably get out more...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-79236581167031058742008-10-10T04:30:00.000-04:002008-10-10T07:34:42.270-04:00

after blogging a dozen places, at least, i was occupying my mind with movie statistics cuz numbers and statistics are like comfort food for my mind while awaiting the next big sharing... hope you find comfort too...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-29148796933582268302008-10-05T03:32:00.002-04:002008-10-05T09:05:09.955-04:00

it's worse when you wake up to find there's no one listening to your mind and all the world is fast asleep and loneliness becomes too deep and for all the words upon the shelf you might as well just play with yourself...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-4568535761790036402008-09-23T00:19:00.003-04:002008-09-23T00:24:13.825-04:00

plans for sleep do not a rest make... ah, just when i thought i was going to nod off and sleep well and wake early for the gym, i find myself still tapping the keys past midnight as some words inspired me to way and start tying... that was about five hours ago... abd yet, as llonely as it can bem this form of expression is still one of the best substitutes for true real time sharing i know... me

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-69184224417647798672008-09-22T08:34:00.001-04:002008-09-22T08:36:33.990-04:00

it does not matter when i blog, there will always be an afterblog, as long as i am alone in time and space...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-66070675365424083702008-09-21T04:36:00.005-04:002008-09-21T04:46:34.989-04:00

even though i should be asleep because i have to pitch both games of a double header (softball) tomorrow and it's going to be hot, here i sit pondering why i love the night and do not want to sleep, but would rather enjoy the dark, the silence, and wish for someone who was like me in loving to share it... when all the blogs are writ and done and all have gone to bedthere is still so much more

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-58152411108295105582008-09-18T23:40:00.001-04:002008-09-18T23:42:29.267-04:00

were spent waiting for you.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-50622286203183721682008-08-08T08:08:00.000-04:002008-09-17T08:16:22.032-04:00

if, in the end, i came here every night after everything else and wrote something meaningful, something profound, or even just something that i wanted to share, innocuous, personal, general, specific, serious, irreverence, nonsense, or whatever... something just for you, just before bed, just the curl up nod off sweet dreams thoughts that i leave in the custody of your arms as i sleep... would it

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-52887746474624366072008-06-13T03:43:00.000-04:002008-06-13T03:46:34.533-04:00

with or without accompanyment.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-52082717440145471242008-06-08T02:52:00.003-04:002008-06-08T03:27:35.710-04:00

after all is said and donei am still the only onehere.after you have come and gonesolitude will carry onhere.after time and space are throughi am me and you are yousee?after all the rhymes and prosethere is only one who knowsme.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-7835321794111729622008-05-10T18:06:00.004-04:002008-05-10T18:11:30.206-04:00

The story can be found everywhere, personally, privately, and publicly, but the bottom line remains i am here to share. The words are the hope and actualized sharing that inspires the feeling and belief in not being alone that you might call god or God. Get that, and you may begin to get me.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-41038147156556216992008-05-01T04:00:00.000-04:002008-05-10T18:17:44.629-04:00

It is built from within, across time, transcending space. It is for you to find the path, to realize the connections, to make it your own.All I can do is put it out here.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-72676988782412626022008-04-17T04:13:00.000-04:002008-05-10T18:15:21.135-04:00

Sometimes it appears, sometimes it may not, and sometimes we might wonder if it is really ever here. It is always here, even when it is not.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-29160983160772823342008-04-06T04:04:00.000-04:002008-05-10T18:18:49.589-04:00

kind of like the afterbirth, only drier...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-30236184325385727112008-03-24T02:10:00.004-04:002008-03-24T02:17:27.870-04:00

as time seems to pass in silence, the words seem to take on more importance and less meaning, simultaneously, or vice versa, which might seem incongrous or complicated, but simplifies everything... but then, sharing is relative and i have no relatives... only hopes and dreams and a life full of empty promises... if life should be more than a dream and more than an afterthought, i wish it would

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7957735527503615920.post-33427645017460292192008-02-26T02:59:00.004-05:002008-02-27T03:30:33.794-05:00

i knew it must have been from you.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com6