Pain, and More Approaching

The pain of loss. This year has been overworked, over-pressured, overwrought with too much work away from home (though I love the work and the idea of the organization, those running it are severely flawed and heading in an opposite direction) and too much unresolved conflict (betrayal and usery and abuse) at home (though I love my roommate, Jackson, who calls me BFF, she does not seem to understand trust or love, and definitely does not do it because she doesn't trust or love herself) which leads to pain. Here we are, the afterblog pulls few punches (though distractions have filled some entries this year).

We said farewell to Happiness, our 17 year old corgi-beagle, as his muscles could no longer hold his body up long enough to poop or eat. I laid there staring into his eyes, eyes blurred by clouds of cataracts, whispering love into his ear as he wondered whatever a dog wonders when he can no longer get up to play or even breathe comfortably. Jackson needed me that day.

But I sense profound change is coming, with more pain.