all the writing, all the words, all the caring, all the birds... birds?... whatever, we destroy everything, us humans, so why should we even try to actually share anything worthwhile... sad, such a waste... dozens of entries, blogging my heart out, blogging my brains out, blogging my silly meaninglessness out too... only friends would care, so why bother... cuz as usual, after the blogging is over, here we are... alone... wanting... what a waste...
the party of living: so much more is a wonderful life that so few ever have time to explore before they retire and most are way too tired or burnt out to explore after they retire, so enjoy it now while you can :)
for all the sad (pathetic) laments after the blogging is done (considering so much of the blogging is whining in the first place, but truly, it's better i get it out in words than in the physical sharings cuz who wants to be around a whiner, after all) this blog may be where the most truth comes out (or perhaps not, but seriously) or at least the vulnerability exposed by fatigue cuz, after all, this is the late night after everyone else is asleep blog, ya know?...
well, i wish you did :)
i want to share but no one's here so once again i write... i want to share, hey are you there?... i'm calling you tonight... i want to share, oh fudge, i want fudge too... would you share if i had fudge?... do you have fudge?... where?
every night i lay down and sleep when i am tired enough and the words have flowed (though seldom enough) and there is time (though seldom enough) the dreams are closer to the surface (though seldom enough) and i sleep, with or without you, wishing you were here...
after the blogging is done, here...
good days, bad days, whatever, it doesn't matter in the end and especially not if there's nobody who cares along the way... how many good days go by unshared and sadder, perhaps, is how many bad days have happened with no one even taking notice, no concilation, no comfort from anywhere but within, that end-it-all feeling of nobody cares...
here we are...
pistachio nuts, water, craig ferguson, still awake and wondering where you are, or where someone is, someone caring, sharing, daring, hearing, you know, someone still awake...
cuz after the blogging is over, i still want to share more than words :)
and i miss sharing it, but at least i am awake enjoying it... humans sleepwalk through this life and waste the magic of the night... wish you were here, but only if you can be... cha cha cha :)
the last entry (if it's still the last entry, the first date of this month, if that's still the only entry date stamped with that date) has me thinking about it...
kind of the way it had me thinking about the one before, if that one is still the one before...
what?... you think just cuz it's late that this will always be profound?... you'll never know unless you appear here in physical time and space (and yes, there is, no matter what bloggers might write)... no, just hopeful...
hope you remain hopeful too...
