up all nights

a pattern increasing this week, the nocturnal rhythm has me still awake a sunrise and then waking a few hours later and more tired each day and today i didn't even focus, allowing life to distract me... do i let the week go and start over next week or does this pattern hold the risk of staying in it, apathy, ambivalence, depression... these questions have no answers outside of my head because nobody really knows me... one does try, because she is here, and we depend on each other... but separately, for the deeper abyss is beyond her and beyond anyone i've ever known... the garden where i sing, will no one stay awake with me is mine alone... so the loneliness swirls like a storm...