this rediculousness

may belong elsewhere, in fact some certainly does, but the fact remains that here we are as dawn is passing through perception still awake and wondering wide-eyed with hope and futility for sharing that may never come alone in a crowd, for crying out loud, just hoping for understanding, just wishing for a friend who cares to be right here, still here, ridiculousness as it may appear...

more than 24 hours awake, a good ten hours of distraction at play with cards with friends after a good relaxing semi-working day and evening dinner moment with roommate best friend, a day that began well as well... yet as sleepy as i am, still, the longing to share more deeper, more intimacy, more honesty, more caring, more trust, more love, more now, remains... here in the afterblog and elsewhere...

waiting for the one... and for anyone who remains...

still alone

after the blogging's over
after the words are done
there's no dress to look up
no irreverent fun

after the babbling pauses
after the words are through
there's no zipper to pull down
no entendre to misconstrue

after the pickles are sucked dry
after the peaches are licked
there's no head left to play with
no small mind left to trick

life in the blogworld is fickle
funny and strange and weird too
and after the blogging is over
these words are left here for you

connectivity

Sometimes it appears, sometimes it may not, and sometimes we might wonder if it is really ever here.

It is always here, even when it is not.

antiblog

yes, i know, there is too much… perhaps it defeats the purpose of public blogging... too many different thoughts in most entries… too much information… most of the humor is drowned in the words… most of the detail is swamped by the plethora of, well, more detail… it's a self-defeating cycle for the child who babbles who wants conversation, who wants interaction, who wants receipt and reciprocation and acknowledgement and communication… this is why i should keep the entries to a single topic, a single paragraph, even, for anything beyond the first thought is often lost in the waves of distracting asides…

maybe

crud, cud, could, would, should, good, fudd, dud, crud

the cycle of life.

so why am I still awake?

When all the blogs have gome to bed the words still rattle through my head and keep me wandering these written roads. There's nothing new that can be said but babbling hunger must be fed, I wonder who else understands these loads. As if there's something more to say like hope someone will share today when no one does cuz no one even knows. The afterblog is where I stay when no one will come out to play for even in silence the story grows.