will no one stay...

from gesthemene in case you are wondering, in case you are there... will no one stay awake with me? so poignant on so many profound and personal levels for me... awake as in not sleeping as i am naturally nocturnal and am most awake after midnight, but also awake as in enlightened to the experience of being relative to everything in the universe and beyond, and also aware of the eternal infinity beyond the limits of this physical life, as well as more that words will not adequately express... and so far, i am alone here on every level... and while the depths of this experience is not all that this afterblog is about, it is the underlying reason it exists... and as another year of this life begins the question behind every entry remains, will no one stay awake with me?...

so sad

this blog can be so sad... just sitting here waiting for someone to share, for someone to care, for someone to be aware that i'm here, just sitting here waiting for someone to... appear... imagine if i returned every night and faced the loneliness underlying this blog, sheesh, what a depression this hole would become... and yet, in the fact that i survive between entries without losing grip on the desire, the hunger, or the optimism - therein is the beauty and wonder and excitement that comes from this occasional expression of frustration and hope that is the afterblog...

staring into space

some nights are like that, or this, perhaps, just staring into space with so much on my mind that nothing comes to the surface beyond a quiet complacency, a peaceful acceptance of what is as it is and nothing more (except for the all the other stuff swimming through the mind)... maybe it's something tomorrow might explain better, or music, for that matter (talk about opening windows)...

i wish you peace tonight...

every night

i am here every night though i don't always write cuz sometimes (or maybe most) i believe nobody cares and maybe that is justified because there's no one by my side so why not give up the ghost on sharing when nobody shares la la la la la la la la la la la... don't be depressed, it's only lonely... you might even know someone who cares... don't be upset, it's only lonely... you might even be someone who shares... but here we are again after the blogging stops in the middle of the night when sleep's other shoe drops... and wishes do not wake anyone so i am here... every night... even when i don't appear to be... here... every night... only lonely...

not dead yet

more precisely, i am not done yet, not tonight, not in life, not anywhere or anytime... i have more to do, more to learn, more to give, more to share, more dreams to fulfill... and every day i fulfill the big one, enjoying life, and every day is better than the last because it is another day compiled on all the others... but here in the afterblog, i wait for the one who will share the dream that is sharing the love only two can share... that may be the ultimate reason for the afterblog, to be, after all the other blogs have rested and all the other readers have gone to sleep, a place for the last call for the shared dream...

silly humans

the bestest most funnest fun happens after all the other blogs are done, here, in the afterblog, hidden from view (because words are not enough), you might find out (if you stay awake long enough :)

loving it

the wonder of being, especially in the night... and while much of the time i wish for someone to share the moments, wishing or not for company, the moments are amazing and wonderful... if you only knew... you'd be amazed too :)