so sad

this blog can be so sad... just sitting here waiting for someone to share, for someone to care, for someone to be aware that i'm here, just sitting here waiting for someone to... appear... imagine if i returned every night and faced the loneliness underlying this blog, sheesh, what a depression this hole would become... and yet, in the fact that i survive between entries without losing grip on the desire, the hunger, or the optimism - therein is the beauty and wonder and excitement that comes from this occasional expression of frustration and hope that is the afterblog...

don't want to miss a thing

Every night i am all about the Aerosmith song Don't Want to Miss a Thing" with one thing missing...

there is no one around to watch breathing.

so i stay awake hoping she might show up...

still dreaming

yeah, it may not seem like it all the time, especially not these days, especially to those who remember me when i would write dozens of rhymes each week filled with optimism, hope, romance, and dreams of true love, but i am still dreaming and if you look closely, you will see...

after sad

often sad in the afterblog, perhaps, as i feel the longing to share more and no one stays awake with me (as that garden song place once again in the rivers of my mind, or should i say those garden songs and references, gibran, nelson, rice, at least), the truest nature of the afterblog may not show through as i do not come to express it nightly and in seldom visiting, the sadness may rise at those dispersed moments... but here, in the afterblog, i find i leave after sadness as i am happy within myself even if no one else every knows or gets it...

you're still welcome and wanted though :)

it never ends

it only dies... or we do, eventually, at least that is life as we know it today and here, in the afterblog, i hope for one last chance to share a moment of meaning and if luck is right, true love...

it never ends...

it's waiting here, in the afterblog, for you...

nights in white passion

as the music returned, the passion blossomed, and the garden reawakened as if it had never been asleep... the magic sprayed everywhere from every source, from rocks and springs, from petals and perches, the bords and bees brought back the kaleidoscope of emotional power that give life meaning and humanity purpose (even if most sleep through it and call it dreaming)...

you really did have to be there :)

still here

alone...

still smiling...

alone...

still alright...

alone :)

loving it

the wonder of being, especially in the night... and while much of the time i wish for someone to share the moments, wishing or not for company, the moments are amazing and wonderful... if you only knew... you'd be amazed too :)

wanting so much to sleep

but wanting even more...

to love and be loved...

no pity in reality

while is may seem pitiful that i am out here every day, every night, all the time connected to this commitment to share myself, life, observations, illusions, creative play, and everything and anything in words and no one actually shares, the words appear to fall on deaf ears, there is no pity in reality for i am true to myself, my ideals, my dreams, and my desires... this is the best i can do alone and that is a personal nirvana, a joy, a pleasure to experience... after all the blogging is done, keep the faith, i am :)

sometimes so empty

like the stage after all the people leave, like the party (or even the last supper) after everyone goes home or falls asleep, the afterblog is for the last few who stay awake, who hang out at the stage door, who can't get enough, like me, and sometimes, the afterblog seems for no one but me...

but it's here... to remind me that the show must go on and more, that when the show is over, there is still a life to share, even if that remains a dream for now... the afterblog remains for whomever cares, for whomever finds it, for the one, and for me...

for even when it seems only for me, when everyone is gone or sleeping and it feels so empty, it is still full of hope... this is the afterblog.

hope it doesn't scare you.

building a dream

It is built from within, across time, transcending space. It is for you to find the path, to realize the connections, to make it your own.

All I can do is put it out here.

there was so much nothing

so i made something.