to share

i wish someone was here to share
after the evening ends
i wish someone was here to share
just like true best friends
i wish someone was here to share
everything like i do
i wish someone was here to share
maybe it could be you

hello?

i mean, hello?)... doesn't seem to matter in the end the song's the same and i remain alone playing this game of words write to anyone who may be out there words written to anyone to may hear... who may care... who may share...

sleep in peace

the craving to share more steals sleep time again and the body (and mind) will regret it in the morning (already does to some extent) but the craving, anita, but the craving... i sometimes wonder why nobody responds even as i ask is anybody pout there? right next to every new entry... guess a few seconds (or 90, even) are a bit too much to share... so i come here, in the afterblog, singing will no one stay awake with me one more time... so thankful for this part of me, you may never truly know how much... may you have your space for self-comfort too... and may you make time to use it, ya know>? :}

maybe returning

so what shall i say that has not been say so many times before, or written as the case may be... so rhetorical is the question that the question mark is not even considered and mentioned here as an afterthought... afterthoughts in the afterblog, how appropriate and isn't that the point after all?... oh?...

telling secrets or stating the obvious, depending on perspective... and the few times anyone read the words here might shed some light on the purpose and principles involved, but then, the hope of returning to the sharing after the blogging may be returning, but the sharing remains just a thought in the mind... better than an afterthought, perhaps, and that is a smile after all...

anybody miss me? :)

still awake (still longing)

and i am still longing for someone to share it all and alament over the probability that you miss it all, or most of it, no matter how many different ways i try to share it, point you to it, wishing and hoping for your attention... even as as i love every minute of it all by myself, there is the dream of someone staying awake with me and sharing it all...

and it could be that i am just deluding myself into believing my few minutes (or hours, sometimes) a day putting videos online in my own pop news blog (that amuses me with stories and information I find in the news or on youtube or somewhere, some tongue in cheek, some controversial, some serious, some irreverent) or in my more personal video me blog (where I put videos that touch me, reflect me, affect me, and in some ways, represent me)… and the time I take to write words in my current daily life blog which is what it is, a record of the life I live and it matters to me…

even if no one ever cares to share any of it…

and after i do all that, still more is here, in the afterblog, the tip of the rest of all i want to share in the real world... and all the rest of the writings are a fraction of what is offline, but still you miss the bullsugar and all the rest and even the deleted pages (which I will do my best to find and re-upload one day cuz I care, again, even if nobody else ever does), they matter, i come here hoping somebody will find it all and share it all someday…

what?

promise

after all the words are written, after all the blogs are closed, after all the people have gone to bed, cloased their eyes, fallen asleep, there is still one last promise left to keep...

that is why...

the long wait alone

that's the rub, after all, for all the brain produces in the words on the web here, there, and virtually everywhere, for whatever it's all worth, the long wait alone endures...

i hope you are loved tonight by someone outside of yourself...

pondering after

the last entry (if it's still the last entry, the first date of this month, if that's still the only entry date stamped with that date) has me thinking about it...

kind of the way it had me thinking about the one before, if that one is still the one before...

what?... you think just cuz it's late that this will always be profound?... you'll never know unless you appear here in physical time and space (and yes, there is, no matter what bloggers might write)... no, just hopeful...

hope you remain hopeful too...

no changes

yup, just see the previous entry, or the theme of this blog, for that matter... the afterblog is where i go when the blogging is over and i am still alone and there's still more desire, craving, hunger for sharing...

if only to say, yes, i am still alone...

night after night

i return to write to you and for me (in so many other places that grow in bits and bounds and rhymes and confessions and fantasies and laughter and tears and memories and silliness and seriousness and nonsense and pleasure and pain and wonder and excitement and all the fun of the fair) and for anyone who cares...

it's so rare that someone does, but i continue anyway...